My friend Sid is a chortler. He’s this long, lithe fellow with all the merriness of a chubby little cherub and he has the most glorious chortle you’ve ever heard. These loud alto bubbles of glee just tumble out of his mouth at every opportunity. Unfortunately, it’s highly contagious.

There are many situations where that kind of laughter is appropriate, but weddings aren’t one of them.  At least, not the particular wedding of which I’m speaking. A group of eight of us just spent a week in Vegas, which culminated in the elopement of a couple of our friends. They are a very unsuitable pair.  I know this, Sid knows this, the groom knows this. The bride does not know this. Well, she may know it now that she’s honeymooning it up at Niagra Falls, depending just how bold the dear old groom has gotten, but she certainly didn’t know it this time last week.

So, yeah, the laughter was unfortunate but really unavoidable. I’m pretty sure Sid and I were picturing the same thing as the two of them were kissing. Bubba, waddling out of the bathroom in all his redneck adult baby glory, his pudgy belly and the very tip of his hard-on poking out of his brand-new Bambino diaper*. I haven’t quite been able to picture Prudence’s reaction yet, but I’m sure it would be a thing of beauty.  

See, Bubba confided his little secret to Sid, in the strictest confidence of course. Sid, being the big flaming gossip he is, told me. I, on the other hand, am the absolute soul of discretion, so I’m only telling my little corner of the world right here.  

Anyway, Vegas was a treat on many levels. Sid is very fond of rolling his eyes and muttering, “Shannon Collett: Loves a Spectacle.” Well, it’s true. So, for me, Vegas is just a big neon wonderland.

Spectacles, spectacles, as far as the eye can see.

The Bellagio’s blown glass flowers and water fountain show, the four glorious hours at the Pinball Hall of Fame, the Fireside Lounge, the roller coasters, the King Tut reproductions. Such wonderful things!

* I don’t actually know if Bubba’s diaper of choice is the Bambino, but it’s so fucking cute that I like to imagine it is. Who doesn’t like to imagine their favorite adult baby all decked out in pastel-colored baby blocks? I’ve been charmed by them ever since Diaper Jeff put in appearance in them.